The first time I chanted I felt my heart expand and a rush of love and happiness flushed through my body. I felt alive and sparkly and somehow new. I was overflowing with love and a sense of wellbeing. After the meeting I went to a party and laughed and danced all night. It was amazing. I was hooked on the power and energy of the daimoko (chanting practice)

The more I got into the practice, the deeper my heart and Soul connection became. This particular Buddhist community was committed to the upliftment of the entire planet. I was deeply committed to this goal and my practice. I could feel the pain and suffering of the world as I chanted with tears streaming down my face. I threw myself into all the activities for world peace. My heart expanded more and more and I accessed both the love and bliss of the Buddha through the practice and also the pain and suffering of the world.

I loved the practice and the community. They became my family, and we were together for many years until I experienced a deep Spiritual Crises. My Soul was taking me into a different direction and I resisted the change. I loved to chant . . . I loved the community . . . I loved saving the world. . . and yet there was a undercurrent of sadness within me that never completely went away . . . and over the years it had been getting stronger and stronger. As I struggled with this transition my world fell apart . . . my energy exploded and was difficult to handle . . .and I went a little crazy for a while . . . I found a book by Gobi Krishna . . . which talked about his Spiritual Crisis, and described the energy explosion as kundalini awakening . . . aaahhh I thought this is what is happening to me . . . as I continued into my breakdown . . . breakthrough. It got worse before it got better.

Eventually I was lead to the right teacher to help me and went through what I called psychic boot camp. This intensive training was just the beginning of a program that taught me how to take care of my energy system and be Queen of my Queendom . . . and kept me from losing my mind. I learned how to close down my chakras as needed and to come back into my physical body.. . ground and connect to the planet . . . and that this process and my sensitivities were not something I was cursed with, but gifts to be used in service for my own well being and also the planet. The deep depression lifted as the undercurrent of sadness got lighter and lighter. The pain and sadness I felt wasn’t even mine . . .I was an out of control healer. I learned that I was an Intuitive Empath and was processing the pain and suffering of those around me though my body and the collective pain and suffering of the planet through my Heart. My inner child was suffering because of it. Are you suffering too? Whose pain are you healing?